How Times Change.

Wow its really been such a long time since i blogged! In fact its been too long because so much has happened since my last post.
I just went and read through all the posts ive ever posted from first to last. It was really interesting! Like re-reading diary entries i guess. I notice how much i talked about Sian and how much i loved her, and how much i talked about people with break-ups.

Funny how things have come around.

So since my last post things have happened. Number one was: Sian dumped me. Now it was really weird re-reading how i felt about her months ago. But i'm not ashamed and i don't take it back because i meant everything i said. In fact, i think i'll show her this blog.. I never did tell her about this, and i dont want to make her feel guilty or anything but if i can look back and smile at the memories then maybe she can too? Hehe.
Like i said when i was re-reading my blogs i talk about break-ups, that was because my relationship was amazing and we felt so invincible while other people were breaking down. Seems the circle has come about and it's finally my turn.
But Sian dumped me about... 5 weeks ago now, so im pretty sure i've moved on now so im not as sad now. I can honestly say i've never felt as upset in my life as that night it ended. But as i always said in my blogs; life goes on doesn't it. And whatever i'm fine now so hey its cool. And we're still best friends which is perfect!! Cos its funny, while we were going out we agreed we'd still be friends if we broke up, and i'm glad she honoured that promise. I dont care what she says about herself she is a lovely person at heart.
Its certainly weird now though, not loving someone.. because now i have loved i feel like i need someone to love again, something IS missing in me. Not Sian's part of my heart that's healed itself. But it is so nice having someone to care for and who cares for you. In fact i just saw a facebook group called "Like if you've wasted your time on someone" well im certainly not joining that because it waws truly worth every second! Just because things've changed now doesn't mean we didnt once feel that way. I think, i do miss the memories, there are just so many happy times that even though i might not love her the same anymore i would still re-play because you should never forget the happy times in your life. Its SO easy to focus on the negative but you have to fight that and be positive. Thats my belief.
Other thing's that are going on: well it seems everyones breaking up at the moment anyway so me and 2 of my best mates get to enjoy being dumped together! fun.... hah. But yeah i'm really confused about whats going on with one of my best friends his ex seems to be accusing me of shit stirring.. this has really upset me because i dont want to cause trouble! i dont want enemies. And i've thought about everything i've said to anyone and i'm sure i haven't "shit stirred".. At least not on purpose but im sure i havent done anything. But i will say it clearly shows how much people value my friendship if they just automatically accuse me of making trouble. From my point of view someone else is causing the trouble but i won't say who. Its a delicate situation but its also really quite a stupid one.

Haha i love the way my first blog after months is soooo negative.
BUT i'm not feeling negative, i'm in a good mood most of the time, one thing being with Sian did was show me how to enjoy things way more. Everything is suddenly so much funnier then it used to be and i think its the contagious way Sian laughs at everything thats rubbed off on me hehe. Well i'll continue this positiveness by saying that Sian has really changed me so much for the better! I can't thank her enough for it to be honest. Being in a relationship with someone who was so understanding and easy going meant that the shy-quiet boy i used to be has gained sooo much more confidence and its great! I'm definately more outgoing and confident about everything then i once was. And unlike some people seem to say the break-up hasn't meant i never want a relationship ever again because i was hurt, because i'm a positive person i focus on all those happy moments that happened really over ALL of my Year 10 year. Now i try not to use emoticons here, but this deserves a happy face.

^_^

Hehe. Well that's probably it for now, OH apart from i recorded myself singing because i wanted to see what it was like. Unfortunatly what i can hear sounds much different when played back to me. So i think i'll need lessons or something. Because i can't play an instrument, but i really enjoy singing. Im just bad at it. hah.
OH and another thing, i've considered starting VLogging.... thats Video Logging. I'm inspired by two people on youtube (Search for KimmiTalks and DaveDays) who do this and they make it look quite entertaining! And Dave writes and plays songs so he's like my singing inspiration and he did a joint song with Kimmi and i love it way too much! Kimmi is just generally awesome, i know you can't say that about someone you only know on youtube but she's so funny and rather cute (okay so she's 18 but you know..). But if anyone asks me who my favourite celebrity is, its her. Even if she's not famous muahaha. And she's australian! Which trebles her coolness. But yeah there you have it haha. She says we should all keep smiling, which is so true! and her videos cheer me up if i'm down cos they're funny and so random.
Right i think thats it now. It is fun blogging like this, somewhere were you can just write about how you feel it really helps you make desisions if you can see them laid out before you!

Now i always try to end with a song don't i!
But i don't know which one to pick today!!

So i'm going to say the song names instead.

The Reason - Hoobastank:  This song really means so much to me. It is PERFECT for me, especially after my little.. break-up.

Olive You - Dave Days feat. Kimmi Smiles: Hahaha this one had to come here, because its such a cute song!

Over You - Daughtry: Well i said about this song months ago, but now it actually applies to me haha.

Cya'l!
Keep smiling!